By Thomas Torresson
HAND of the Peninsula

My son, Shawn, is 2 1/2 now. It’s been 4 years since the death of my first son, Dylan. It’s funny the things that make me think of Dylan: watching a 4-year-old playing, hearing a particular song, being asked by my 5-year-old daughter, Sydney, “Do you still miss Dylan?” or seeing the box with his ashes in it.

My life is full. I am blessed with a loving wife and 2 great (healthy) children. Still, I am shocked that I can feel so much pain when I think back on losing Dylan. We have pictures of him being held by me and my wife in the hospital. I can see them clearly in my mind…but cannot bring myself to look at them.

Does it get easier? Yes. Does it ever go away? I don’t know yet, but probably not. It still hurts, but it’s bearable… and there is so much else in the world to be thankful for that it helps me sometimes to step back and look at my blessings. And I have to trust that everything happens for a reason.