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How Friends & Family Can Help
As a friend or relative of parents who have lost a baby before, during, or after birth, you can provide vital support. We offer these simple suggestions to help you give aid and comfort.
- Allow parents to share their pain.
- Listen. Don’t try to fix or change parents’ feelings.
- Express your own sorrow.
- Say the baby’s name.
- Be patient – grief may last for years.
- Stay in touch often.
- Grieving over the loss of a baby, before or after birth, can be as intense as grief over the death of any other family member.
- All parents must feel free to express their love for the baby they have lost and to grieve in their own way.
- Seeing pregnant women and babies is often painful after the loss of a baby.
- Fathers need opportunities to express their grief in their own way.
- Family members and friends often find it hard to talk about the baby, and inappropriate remarks may cause further grief.
- Parents often need help in talking with their other children about the baby’s death.
- Grandparents often grieve for their grandchild, and may find it difficult to deal with their own child’s pain.
- Anniversaries of the baby’s birth and death can bring back parents’ feelings of grief and loss.
- Parents who are anxious about a subsequent pregnancy may need extra emotional support.